work in progress

I’m sure none of you have taken notice of my absence since July, but I most certainly have considering I’m paying to keep this trash up and running and I’m not exactly utilizing it to its full potential. But for those of you who missed my boundless wit and bountiful wisdom, I suppose the reason I haven’t written is because I have felt quite devoid of all that lately. My life has been in a perpetual state of messy, and there’s something about feeling like you are out of control that keeps you from telling people about it.

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Since I managed to fail miserably at accomplishing this Twenty by Twenty nonsense in a timely manner, and I will no longer be twenty next month, I'm gonna start lumping these guys together. Also just gonna call it right now and say I will definitely not get to twenty by the time I'm twenty-one. To that end, something important I've learned about myself throughout this series is that I am not nearly as full of wisdom as I once thought. Who knew?

So, because I'm brave and courageous and all that, I have decided to tackle two of the scariest topics known to adolescence: trying new things and change. Because while, yes, horror movies about killer dolls are terrifying, there's a much smaller chance you will get mutilated by a ceramic colonial child at some point in your life than there is that you will experience some form of change or be forced to try something new. I'm being practical here. 

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2017 recap

I remember everyone at the end of last year being all "2016 suuUuucked, let's make 2017 the dooOOoOpestTtt!!!!!" and, if we're being honest, I was secretly in the same boat. I'm a relatively pessimistic person, but I'm rarely outwardly negative (I'm a positive pessimist, which sounds paradoxical but we'll touch on that sometime in the future. Maybe). So basically I was ready for 2016 to be over but it's not like I was letting all of Twitter know. I was just kind of shooting prayers up to God asking Him to make 2017 a little less super duper terrible. And, in a way, He did.  But millennials believe otherwise. I'm seeing the same sort of stuff going around now at the end of this year. Now don't get me wrong, I was definitely present when certain chunks of the year were going to crap and I went through a lot of personal hardships too. However, I want to choose to look at it differently. 

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TWENTY BY TWENTY | 3. it's okay to care what people think

"Now that you've told us some of your strengths, why don't you tell us about some of your weaknesses?" asks the portly interviewer who has had this job for far too long and is spending their lunch hour interviewing candidates for a job nobody wants, but everyone needs. 

"Well, sir (or madam because, duh, it's 2017), I care too much." says the person who is so sure they are nailing this job interview with their totally original answer. 

This whole scenario hits a little too close to home for me. This is mainly because caring to an obsessive and unhealthy degree is not a strength masked as a cute, fake weakness for me; but it is a real, deep-rooted, and debilitating weakness. Ya girl cares way. too. much. About EVERYTHING. 

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yearbook one

Recently, I spent the months of August, September, and a fraction of October in a lovely little town in Utah called Ogden. This is probably the first and last time you'll ever hear of Ogden as it is very small and typically outshone by its siblings Park City and Salt Lake City. I knew approximately zero people in Ogden except for the nine others that made the journey with me, and boy oh boy do birds of a feather flock together. There is nothing quite like being in a city with very little to do where you know zero people to make you instantly bond with those in the same situation. 

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